ATF Races to Classify New Weapon: The Smocking Gun

Smocking Gun

On the morning of August 1st, 2018, President Trump announced to the country that a dangerous new weapon has hit the streets — The Smocking Gun.

This announcement took everyone by surprise, including the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms, whose job it is to classify firearms and determine if and how they should be regulated.

Acting ATF Director Thomas Brandon immediately released a brief statement after the President’s tweet.

Official Statement:



For Immediate Public Release

Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms
99 New York Avenue, NE
Washington, DC 20226

 

To The American People:

The ATF was just made aware of a new type of firearm which has been introduce to the country.  As you may already be aware, the President of the United States is calling it “the Smocking Gun.”

The ATF has no prior knowledge of the existence of this weapon, and cannot confirm the level of its capability to inflict damage on its targets.

We at the ATF hold the safety of the American public dear to our hearts.  I have directed all available resources of the ATF to track down, seize, and analyze this new weapon so that we may classify it and identify its danger to the American public.

We are working closely with President Trump to determine how he came upon information about this mysterious weapon, and how we can locate any Smocking Guns currently in circulation.

Please know that the ATF will not stop until ALL Smocking Guns are accounted for. I will release more details as information becomes available.

 

Sincerely,

Thomas E. Brandon
Acting Director
Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, & Firearms

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