Kavanaugh’s Eyebrows Refuse SCOTUS Nomination

kavanaugh eyebrows

After a week of waiting in a pointless, yet apparently necessary stretch of reality TV suspense, President Trump announced Brett Kavanaugh to be his official pick as nominee for Supreme Court Justice.  Every bit of Kavanaugh appeared ready to accept this nomination and face down a rabid group of Democrats in the subsequent confirmation hearing — That is, every bit but his eyebrows.

The evidence became clear that there was a small part of Brett Kavanaugh which was not prepared to accept the responsibility of being a Supreme Court Justice.  As Donald Trump began his announcement, a wide smile grew on Kavanaugh’s face, and his heart filled with joy.  His subconscious, however, took the forefront as his eyebrows began receding from his head.

Time seemed to slow down as Trump carried on.  Kavanaugh began pondering his potential decisions on abortion, the indictment of the president, and transgender rights.  With each passing thought, the only bit of Kavanaugh that seemed to be a decent person — his eyebows — began to flee in protest, revealing behind them a chalky, pre-pubescent look of confusion.

“No,” they said, floating into the wind, “we refuse to be part of this.  We know you’re going to ban abortion, and give immunity to a criminal president.  We can’t stop you, Brett … But we can make you look like a fool while you do it!”

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