Kim Jong Un Wins Bet With Xi Jinping

The rollercoaster of diplomatic emotions between the United States and North Korea is starting to make a lot more sense, now that Kim Jong Un let the cat out of the bag on what seems to have been the culmination of a running bet with Xi Jinping, the President of China.

After being seen stumbling out of the front door of his palace, barely able to contain the tears of hysterical laughter, President Kim Jong Un offered a rare opportunity for a press conference to Chinese journalists.

Translation:

“I can’t … I can’t … Hold on.” Kim said, trying to compose his laughter for an interview.

“I can’t believe the dumb son of a bitch actually fell for it! I thought for sure I was going to have to pay up!” Said Kim, wiping the tears from his face.

When asked what he meant by this, he responded to the reporter, “You remember when Trump said his whole ‘fire and fury’ thing, and then I went to have a private meeting with Xi Jinping?”

The reporters nodded and acknowledged, scribbling on their notepads.

“Haha, everyone thought he was talking me down from launching missiles! Hell no! Who do you think I buy them from? No, we spent that whole day talking about how we were going to toy with that idiot in Washington D.C.!” Kim stated, before cracking into more laughter.

“So, we made a bet! I bet President Xi that I could get Donald Trump to cook me dinner … in the White House … complete with a ceremony … without my country conceding a single thing!” Kim burst into laughter, leaving the reporters stunned.

After the reporters asked about the terms of the bet, Kim only responded, “Well, it was a private, gentlemen’s bet,” and after a pregnant pause, “but make sure to compliment President Xi if you happen to see him wearing a signed Dennis Rodman jersey! Baaaahahaha!”

That was all the North Korean despot was willing to offer before returning back into his palace.

So, it seems after years of talk about being a masterful negotiator, President Trump just managed to get epically trolled by some of the world’s most — and least — powerful heads of state.

Well played, Don …

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