School Bullies With Daddy Issues Applaud Trump’s Attack on LeBron James, Don Lemon


President Trump once again made waves Friday night when he referred to Don Lemon as the “dumbest man on television” and implied the same of NBA star LeBron James. The backlash from the Twitter community was swift and massive, but it seems that Trump’s comments appealed to one of his key demographics — Insecure elementary school bullies.

In an interview with reporters, one 10 year-old bully named Derrick gave his perspective on the President’s comments.

“I’m happy Trump stood up for us,” Derrick explained, “I tripped this stupid kid the other day at recess while he was playing basketball, and I got sent to the office.  I told the principal that I tripped him because he was a dumb-face, but he still called my mom!  Now I can’t wait for school to start again so I can tell the stupid principle, ‘See? I told you basketball players are dumb! Look at what the President said about LeBron James!'”

One reporter responded, “But isn’t name calling and bullying still bad, even when the President does it?”

“Shut up! Why don’t you go hang out with your other stupid news nerds in your lame van? Loser. The President says you’re fake anyway!” Derrick replied.

The reporter looked unimpressed, “Do you think your mom and dad would be proud of what you just said to me?”

“Yeah, probably my dad if I catch him while he’s sober.” Derrick explained, “But I’ll just tell my mom that I’m practicing to be the President one day.  Adults always tell us that we can be anything we want when we grow up.  I always thought Presidents were boring, but after following Trump on Twitter, now I know I can be president too!”

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The reporter clarified, “So, you think you would be a good President because you’d be able to bully people?”

“That’s what I said. Do you have poop in your ears, loser?!” Derrick yelled, before making an obnoxious farting sound into his palms.

The reporter, trying to make a point, began to say, “Can you tell me one good thing about LeBron James and Don L–”

Derrick interrupted her, “Loser. Loser. Loser.”

The reporter interjected, “Please let me finish my qu–”

Derrick interrupted again and began dancing around to the beat of his words, “LOSER. LOSER. LOSER. LOSER.”

While it’s clear that Donald Trump’s caustic words strike a negative nerve with a lot of people, it seems that Trump may still be aware of who he is appealing to.  These words resonate with some members of Trump’s base.  These Tweets, while they seems improvised, may very well be calculated moves to garner more support for Trump in the 2020 elections.

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