Trump: Melania ‘Actually Can’t Keep Her Hands Off Me’

Donald and Melania Trump

During the President’s trip to Europe and the Middle East, the world took notice that Melania seemed to reject the President’s attempt to hold her hand on two separate occasions.  In one video clip, Melania appears to actually swat the President’s hand away when he attempted to touch her.  In the second video, taken the next day, the First Lady was a bit more passive.  When the President reached for her hand, she suddenly jerked away to “move her hair” from her face.

Now that he has returned to Washington, he took some time to clear up his side of the story.

More Below: 

In a brief run-in with the media, President Trump was asked about why Melania appeared to reject his hand on two separate occasions.  He quickly laughed and replied, “This is just more fake news.  Melania would never have a problem with me touching her.  She actually can’t keep her hands off me most of the time.”

After an awkward laugh, the President added, “I mean, if she did, it was probably just because she thought I was a secret service guy or something.  Maybe she was just exhausted from the flight.  We had some pretty terrible turbulence, you know?”

Unprompted, the President went on to clarify, “Normally.  I mean, usually, I’m the one saying ‘Babe, come on, I don’t have time for all this affection.  I have a country to run.’  She just can’t resist me most of the time.  Believe me.  And do you blame her?  I don’t blame her at all.”

The reporter followed up by wanting to know why, then, the First Lady doesn’t live with him.  The President declined to comment any further, citing that he was running late for a “golf appointment” with some friends from North Asia.

More Below:

At this point, the American people are starting to wonder about the true nature of the President’s relationship with Melania.  Say what you will about Former President Obama, there is no denying the genuine feeling of love and partnership which radiated from him and Michelle every time they were seen together.  This is something we have yet to see between Donald and Melania Trump.

If you liked this article, follow us on Facebook to see more!  If you still think this is not shameless satire — please check out our about page, and then face-palm vigorously until you feel better about yourself.

Leave a Comment!

49 thoughts on “Trump: Melania ‘Actually Can’t Keep Her Hands Off Me’”

  1. Pingback: muse headband
  2. Pingback:
  3. Pingback: DMPK Analysis
  4. Pingback: iraaqi Seo
  5. Pingback: GVK BIO PVT LTD
  6. Pingback: like this
  7. Pingback: house for sale
  8. Pingback: 먹튀신고
  9. Pingback: home
  10. Pingback: Child Porn
  11. Pingback: Recipes
  12. Pingback: PK Studies in Rats
  13. Pingback: In vitro DMPK
  14. Pingback: boutique en ligne
  15. Pingback: iPhone usati
  16. Pingback: fingering orgasm
  17. Pingback: make a bet online
  18. Pingback: 토토사이트
  19. Pingback: important link
  20. Pingback: Nigeria politics
  21. Pingback: France Moving
  22. Pingback: Egyptian videos
  23. Pingback:
  24. Pingback: 2019
  25. Pingback:
  26. Pingback: VoirFilms

Comments are closed.