Trump Lawyer Uses ‘Jedi Mind Defense’

Sekulow uses Jedi Mind Defense

There has been a lot of media confusion about whether or not the President of the United States is actually under investigation for obstruction of justice.  By one account, reported by the Washington Post, it was leaked that Special Counsel Mueller has begun investigating President Trump.  Trump later tweeted the words, “I am under investigation…” seemingly confirming this claim.  One day later, Trump’s lawyer, Jay Sekulow vehemently denied these claims, stating that the President is not – and has not been – under investigation by Mueller.

So what gives?  This morning on a Fox News segment, in an effort to clarify the confusion, Jay Sekulow decided to reveal the current defense strategy being used to by the Trump legal team.

Sekulow explained, “You see, our team – that is to say, Trump’s legal team – is comprised of the most highly skilled defense lawyers on this planet.  In fact, we’re perhaps the best in this galaxy.”

To avoid sounding arrogant, Sekulow went on to say, “I don’t say this to sound conceited.  Rather, I mean to stress that we are highly trained in the area of Jedi Law.  Although it takes years and years of practice to hone this skill, the concept is easy – we call it The Jedi Mind Defense.

Baffled, the news anchor asked, “You mean like the famous Star Wars scene? ‘These are not the droids you are looking for’?  Like that?”

Sekulow replied, “Yes,exactly!  The force is strong in you!  It’s just like that.  Whenever the President makes statements like he did last week on Twitter.  Instead of ripping our hair out, we just counter them with the mind defense! Watch:”

Sekulow waved his hand in front of the reporter’s face, “… The President is NOT under investigation!”

Dazed, the reporter stated, “Of course the President is not under investigation.  Why would he be?”

Without warning, Sekulow waved his hand in front of her face again, “Donald Trump had millions of people show up to his inauguration.”

Slightly confused, the reporter said, “Right.  Millions of people.  Maybe a million and a half.”

Sekulow then stopped the demonstration, “Do you see?  I just suggest to you that what your eyes have seen is not the truth.  The power of the force makes you believe it without question.”

The reporter, distracted by the audio feed in her ear ended the interview by saying, “Mr. Skeulow, I need to go to a break, but my producers would like to know if you can stick around to speak privately with the CEO of Fox News.”

While neither Donald Trump nor his legal team will disclose the exact legal fees for a team of real-life Jedis, some experts speculate it could be costing the President tens of millions of dollars each month.  So, hopefully Trump has not also been exaggerating his net-worth, as this team may need to stick around for quite a while.

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