At approximately 3:30AM PDT on July 25th, 2018, Hollywood police responded to a reported “magical disturbance” at the Walk of Fame. A young boy in a black wizard’s gown was taken for questioning after Donald Trump’s Walk of Fame Star had been destroyed beyond repair.
The eye-witness who called the police said that he knew something was wrong when he saw the boy standing on the Walk of Fame, holding a “very old book and a wand, shouting phrases in Latin.”
“Frankly, I just thought he was crazy at first.” the witness stated, “Every time he spoke Latin, I would hear these whooshing sounds I can’t describe. The wind kicked up, and Donald Trump’s Walk of Fame Star started glowing and pulsing, like a heartbeat!”
Clearly shaken by what he saw, the witness continued to describe the event. “And then, once he was done speaking Latin, he put the book and the wand down. The boy pulled some kind of ancient battle-axe out of his gown, and smashed the star into bits with one strike.”
The witness described the destruction of the star as a “violent and magical” event. A blinding light reportedly shot out of the sidewalk in all directions, and a scream could be heard from the heavens as the boy’s axe crushed the star. As the light began to dim, and peace returned to the area, three other witnesses reported that Trump’s destroyed Hollywood Star appeared to be “bleeding” from the damage.
Within two minutes, the Hollywood Police department apprehended the boy who surrendered peacefully without incident.
Hollywood Police Chief Chris O’Brien stated to reporters, “There is something powerful about this boy. This isn’t your typical juvenile delinquent. He seems to be a very nice kid, but he’s not saying much. He just keeps repeating, ‘The first Horcrux is destroyed! He is weakened! Tell them to find the others!'”
In unrelated news, the US Secret Service reassured America that the President is in great health after a minor incident this morning. At 6:30AM EDT, agents rushed into his bedroom after hearing him let out a sudden agonizing moan. The White House reports that the incident was just the result of a “bad dream,” and warrants no further concern.
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