MOSCOW, RUSSIA — Several reports are coming from Russian news outlet alleging that Vladimir Putin, who is reportedly suffering from bowel cancer (Go cancer!), has fallen down the stairs at his home and shit his actual pants.

Take a moment to laugh. You deserve it. Then continue.

This news, while funny for most readers, is actually quite tragic for the satire community. When writing satire, we try to take a comedic spin on real news — Ideally, something that’s silly, but thought provoking.

However, when one of the world’s most brutal and nefarious dictators does something as epically hilarious as falling and shitting his pants, it completely disarms the possibility of satire. This sounds like satire already. But it isn’t. He shit his pants. 

That happened. For real. Vladimir Putin shit his pants.

No spin.

I know we write satire, but we’ve got nothing to add here. It’s just funny on it’s own. Putin shit himself.